Domestic violence, or domestic abuse, is a pattern of behavior that seeks to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation. Batterers believe they are entitled to control their victims. They believe that threats and violence are acceptable and will produce the desired results. Therefore, domestic violence is purposeful and instrumental behavior.
The perpetrator's pattern of abusive acts is used to gain compliance from or exert control over the victim. It is directed at restricting independent thought and action so that the victim will become devoted to fulfilling the needs of the perpetrator. The pattern is not impulsive or 'out of control' behavior. Tactics that work to control the victim are selectively chosen by the perpetrator. However, the perpetrator can never get enough control to make him/her feel comfortable, making it impossible for the victim to please the perpetrator.
TYPES OF ABUSE
In an abusive relationship, the abuser may use a number of tactics in order to maintain power and control over his or her partner:
|TYPES OF ABUSE|
Spitting, scratching, biting, grabbing, shaking, shoving, pushing, restraining, twisting, throwing, slapping, punching, strangling, burning, using weapons
Coerced sex by manipulation or threat of physical force, violent sex, a kind of sex the victim does not want, sex at a time victim does not want it, forcing to watch pornography
|Psychological & Emotional:
Threats through words ("if I can't have you, no one will, if you do you'll be sorry"), actions (stalking, brandishing weapons, standing over victim in a threatening manner, suicide attempts), intimidation (yelling and screaming in victim's face, reckless driving while victim or children are in the car), criticize the victim, threatens children or pets, calls the victim names, calls the victim crazy
Controlling victim's access to the family's resources such as time, transportation, food, clothing, shelter, or money, not allowing the victim to work, not listing the victim as an owner on a home, car, or insurance policy, ruining the victim's credit
Filing for protection orders, instituting legal procedures the victim cannot afford to fight, threatening to have victim declared incompetent, falsely reporting victim to law enforcement, threatening deportation
WHY VICTIMS DON'T LEAVE
Victims may have various reasons for staying in an abusive relationship:
|REASONS FOR STAYING|
|Fear of what the abuser will do if he/she leaves: The abuser may...
Inflict more severe abuse
Destroy the victim's belongings in the home
Affect the victim's job or reputation at work, church, etc.
Have the victim arrested or charged with a crime
Harm children, pets, family, or friends
Not allow the victim to see children or grandchildren
Kill the victim or self
|Isolation and lack of resources: The victim may not have...
Housing options or money on hand for rent or deposits for a new home
A safe place to go
Physical ability to leave
People to lend solid emotional support
|Lack of support: The victim may...
Feel there are no friends or family to turn to
Be ashamed or embarrassed to turn to friends or family for help
Be afraid of being alone and without a partner
Fear that no one will believe him/her
|Feelings and beliefs: The victim may...
Feel responsible for the abusive partner's feelings, expectations, image, etc.
Feel love for the abuser's positive side, and hope he/she will change
Hold religious or social beliefs that divorce is wrong
Hold religious or social beliefs that children should have two parents
Hold religious or social beliefs that women must obey men
Blame him/herself for the problems
RESOURCES FOR VICTIMS
BASIC INFORMATIONSexual assault and abuse is any type of sexual activity that you do not agree to. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, "sexual assault can be verbal, visual, or anything that forces a person to join in unwanted sexual contact or attention."
|TYPES OF SEXUAL ASSAULT|
Offender makes unwanted or improper sexual advances towards the victim, touches the victim's body in way that the victim does not want
Offender coerces or forces the victim to engage in vaginal, anal, or oral penetration, or engages in these acts without the victim's knowledge
Sexual contact between family members
Offender watching private sexual acts
Offender exposing him/herself in public
Offender makes unwelcome and inappropriate sexual remarks in professional or social situations
WHAT TO DO IF SEXUALLY ASSAULTED
Sexual assault is NEVER the victim's fault- no matter where or how it happens. Don't be afraid to ask for help or support. If you are assaulted, we encourage you to take the following steps:
|Call a trusted friend or family member, or a crisis center or hotline (800-656-4673) to speak with a counselor.|
|If the assault was recent, do not wash, comb, or clean any part of your body or change your clothes. Do not touch or change anything at the scene of the assault|
|Go to the nearest hospital emergency room as soon as possible. The Nampa Family Justice Center has a team of nurses who are Sexual Assault Forensic Examiners. They are experienced in conducting sexual assault examinations, which include treatment for injuries, screening for possible sexually transmitted infections, and evidence collection.
|Contact the Nampa Family Justice Center at 208-475-5700
Contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673)
Child abuse is the mistreatment of a child by a parent, guardian, or other adult.
|TYPES OF ABUSE|
Non-accidental physical injury to a child. Examples include hitting, kicking, burning, biting, etc.
Sexual contact, solicitation for sexually explicit material, exposure to sexually explicit material
Injury to psychological capacity or emotional stability through tactics like blaming, name-calling, demeaning, etc.
Failure to provide needed food, clothing, shelter, medical care or supervision, resulting in damage, or potential damage, to the child's health, safety, and/or well-being.
Use of substances by those responsible for caring for a child that could result in harm or neglect of the child.
REPORTING CHILD ABUSE
If you suspect a child is being abused, it is critical to get them the help he or she needs. Idaho Statute (16-1605) requires any person having reason to believe that a child under the age of 18 years has been abused, abandoned, or neglected, or who observes a child being subjected to conditions or circumstances that would reasonable result in abuse, abandonment, or neglect, report this within 24 hours.
To report child abuse or neglect: Call 1-855-552-5437
Many people are reluctant to get involved in families' lives. Understanding some of the myths behind reporting may help put your mind at ease if you need to report child abuse:
- I don't want to interfere in someone else's family. The effects of child abuse are lifelong, affecting future relationships, self-esteem, and sadly putting even more children at risk of abuse as the cycle continues. Help break the cycle of child abuse.
- What if I break up someone's home? The priority in child protective services is keeping children in the home. A child abuse report does not mean a child is automatically removed from the home. Unless the child is clearly in danger, support such as parenting classes, anger management or other resources may be offered first to parents if safe for the child.
- They will know it was me who called. Reporting is anonymous. In most states, you do not have to give your name when you report child abuse.
- What I have to say won't make a difference. If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, it is better to be safe than sorry. Even if you don't see the whole picture, others may have noticed as well, and a pattern can help identify child abuse that might have otherwise slipped through the cracks.
Elder mistreatment (i.e. abuse and neglect) is defined as intentional actions that cause harm or create a serious risk of harm (whether or not harm is intended) to a vulnerable elder by a caregiver or other person who is trusted by the elder. This includes failure by a caregiver to satisfy the elder's basic needs or to protect the elder from harm.
TYPES OF ABUSE
The abusive party may use a variety of tactics to harm an elder.
|TYPES OF ABUSE|
Inflicting, or threatening to inflict, physical pain or injury on a vulnerable elder, or depriving them of a basic need.
Inflicting mental pain, anguish, or distress on an elder through verbal or nonverbal acts.
Non-consensual sexual contact of any kind, or coercing an elder to witness sexual behaviors.
Illegal taking, misuse, or concealment of funds, property, or assets of a vulnerable elder.
Refusal or failure by those responsible to provide food, shelter, health care, or protection for a vulnerable elder.
The desertion of a vulnerable elder by anyone who has assumed the responsibility for care or custody of that person.
To report elder abuse or neglect:
Stalking is a pattern of behavior directed at a specific individual, that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.
- Pattern of behavior: Two or more incidents
- Fear: Must be understood contextually (for example, a flower deliver may seem wonderful to an outsider, but to a victim who has attempted to relocate and hide from his or her stalker, it is terrifying because it reveals that the stalker knows their location). It is important to note that fear is often masked by other emotions, such as irritation or anger.
Following or monitoring the victim, either in person or virtually
Repeatedly invading the victim's life or privacy by initiating unwanted contact, such as phone calls, texts, messages, emails, gifts, breaking into victim's home or vehicles when the victim wasn't around
Scaring the victim with threats of harm to victim, children, or pets, actually harming pets, damaging property
Spreading rumors or publicly humiliating victim, jeopardizing the victim's job, interfering with victim's finances or housing
TIPS & RESOURCES FOR VICTIMS
- Trust your instincts
- Call the police if you feel you are in immediate danger
- Consider using a Stalking Incident and Behavior Log, found here
- Save evidence, such as emails, text messages, photos, postings on social networking sites
- Learn more about using technology safely, by visiting this Tech Safety Site
- Contact the Nampa Family Justice Center at 208-457-5700
- Visit the Victim Connect or SPARC websites, for more information and resources
*All information adapted from SPARC